Uncategorized|April 1, 2009 12:49 pm

What’s Underneath Your Love Stone?

When it’s a cold and gloomy day in New York City, and your projects aren’t going well, your friends only text you for money and your weight-loss efforts don’t seem to be paying off–all you want to do is take a cue from Whitney Houston’s movie, The Bodyguard, and stage your own version of “Run To You”, except there’s one problem, there’s no one to run to. Then what?

My friends claim that I’m too picky when it comes to dating. They’ve even gone far enough to say that my “No List” is unreasonable. You know, the detailed list we keep with the negative qualities/attributes/beliefs that the other person cannot display or have–we all have one, right?

For example on my list I will not, or cannot date some one who:

1. Owns a cat–These guys tend to have “mom” issues.
2. Sports white socks with dress pants–C’mon, really?
3. Has a Derek Jeter haircut–To the left, to the left.
4. Doesn’t own a cell phone–It’s 2009, get with the program!
5. Has bad teeth (yellow or just missing)–Self-explanatory.
6. Wears Wrangler jeans–Who are you, George Straight?
7. Uses a webcam–what’s he really using it for?

But after so many cold nights alone in your bed with only a tub of ice-cream and chocolate cake to keep you warm, things don’t look so good. But thank God we have Steven Ward, the master matchmaker and HOT host of VH1′s latest reality show, Tough Love, who–in only three episodes–has change some of my corrupt ways.

On the show, Steve explained to one of the sexy participants, Jody, that her concepts of what make up the perfect match might not be too realistic. Because Miss Thing is 38-years-old and is still single, her vision of meeting a man her own age who isn’t divorced or has children might not happen; (Jody’s “No List” had divorced men and/or men with children on it) yet, Steve, very eloquently explained that she might be missing out on a great relationship because she bypasses men in these circumstances. He said, “Leave no stone unturned because true love might be underneath one of them.”

And as I sat on my bed surround by Nestlé Crunch wrappers and Hersey’s Chocolate Syrup stains all over my mouth, arms and bedspread, I thought to myself, “What’s underneath my Love Stone?” Maybe I ought to ease up on my own list and just embrace love. Have we become so engulfed in our own vision of “what love is” and just like Jody, end up bypassing good people because they are not our exact match? And by that token, how many people have passed us over because something about us made it on their “No List”? Steve’s RULE #73 is, “Don’t try to out-think love, love is emotional not cerebral, sometimes you can be so smart–it makes you stupid.”

So I took the plunge. I’ve been “interacting” with a guy I normally wouldn’t be caught dead talking to. I’m discovering that things aren’t that bad…actually, things are pretty great. He’s got a fun sense of humor, he’s smart, very “hands-on” and has the sexiest hairy chest this side of the Mason Dixon line–I saw it on his webcam. It’s too early to tell if it goes anywhere, but just in case it doesn’t–bring on the Wrangler-wearing, cat-owning, white-sock-sporting men…who knows, there may be true love underneath my “Love Stone” after all.

And for those VH1 Tough Love fans, I managed to get Steve to do an interview with me. So if you want to ask him a “LOVE” question–leave it on the blog or twitter me, and I’ll try to get you in on the action! Our interview will be posted on the blog so come back to check it out…and remember, leave no stone unturned!

What’s on your “No List?” and have you looked under your “Love Stone” lately? Leave a comment.

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7 Comments

  • Love this list! You are too funny, Nando! Mine: Cat lover (agree with you!), smoker (pot and cigarettes), generally unhealthy (no interest in veggies? come on!) and is NOT curious (bad bad bad). The rest is negligible, honestly. Oh, but bonus points if the guy can actually spell and punctuate his text messages! ;)

    The guy I’m kind of flipping over now embodies so much of what I like: Curious, adventurous, considerate in bed, always answers his phone, isn’t afraid of sweet nothings. Could it get better? Not right now – I’m happy here. ;)
    .-= Zoe´s last blog ..Stuck in the middle with you =-.

    • You know, you are one sexy mama and I’m gonna hop on over to read your blog right now,
      cause from the comment luv link–it’s gonna be a fun one! P.S. I have a double standard
      when it comes to txt messages–bad, I know, but we will chat about it soon enough.

  • Ok my list that I can think of off the top of my head (as going for a straight girl who lives in the south)

    1. NO HUNTERS (I love animals and have more compassion for them than I do most humans.)

    2. Must own a cell phone ( I am with ya on that one Nando, and it doesn’t have to be fancy, just able to text and talk and send pics lol)

    3. Cannot be close minded (hate ignorance!)

    4. someone who is not music compatible with me is OUT DA DOOR! (even if its not your favorite, they gotta at least be able to enjoy my music and if they absolutely love heavy screaming death metal or are huge country fans yeah no, it ain’t gonna work)

    5. Must have all their teeth and nice ones ( can’t stand stained nasty teeth)

    6. Can’t be married~!!!!!!!!!! lol
    Ok i think that is all for now, I will be back if I think of more

  • Oh yeah and HE MUST HAVE A JOB!

  • :( what happened to my comments from yesterday?

  • nevermind, they just showed up!

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